Why I write this blog/what's wrong with me......

I just finish writing this blog that is attach to this and was thinking: This is why I write this blog....the feeling of Freedom and that feeling makes my Heart sing because it what we all want. It combines so many other feelings for me! I know whoever reads this knows who I am, my picture is here for them to see but they done have that need to answer and I don't feel the need to explain every word. also, we can talk about it all, if they want and when they want.

I know to some it doesn't make sense. It's just feelings of an old....but there might be one who understand what I'm talking about and going through the same thing and might want to share some thoughts that gets us both thinking and for us to get out of our own way! It also let some folks know how I fee... even if they think I'm crazy, now they know why.
So, Let's talk.....
Let's share thoughts
Let's Open Ourselves to what we feel
but Let's be Honest
Let's Trust Spirit....to the Good!
One of My Mirrors.



What's wrong with me....


There is an old habit that I'm finding it hard to really release and it's effecting other parts of my Being, Of course....
When I find someone that I think is Special, I start labeling myself by their reaction to me. Oh, Thank Goodness I'm not as bad as I was but it's hanging in little bites. I see it, I know what it is, I do think about it sometime, like to day. Special is a two way street, I know. My feelings are my own, I know. Just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean other people feel the same way, I know. But I also try to figure out what they're feeling. I answer things for them, even though I haven't ask them a question, (Does make sense, right?)
I Am a Wonderful. Loving, Caring person
I Am a Great Friend
I Am Smart
I Am_____

I know, what one person thinks of me isn't who I Am (Good or bad) but I need to find a balance. I've been showing stupid like behavior in this area. Monkey mind lives for me to have these feelings and thoughts. When I find myself in this area of thought, I make myself disappear sometime. I pull away but it doesn't make me feel any better because I'm not dealing with it....aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

What is it that draws all this to me? What is it in me and why can't/won't I stop looking at it?
I get all these feelings and can't talk to the person about it.....Why? Uncomfortable (for both) to tell me what they think or they tell me what they think I want to hear, they are giving me as much as they can and/or they don't want to look within them self...aaaaahhhhh!

I Love being Open but sometime it's hard for me working with and in it. If I can figure out how to work with it all, I can and will change my Life. I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!
Tears, I need tears, it will cleanse.

When I Am Open and being Creative the flood of things enters. I Love It and hate it.

What is it about me that stops people? What is it about giving people a chance that's so hard. I know you don't and maybe won't like most things about me but walk the path you might find something you like and want to take a chance and see what's happening. I Love You and yes, I shouldn't give up so much Power but I Am Unlimited and Unconditional 95% of the time. I Will get a handle of all of this.

Here's the deal, I Love a lot and I give a lot but at the end of the day you have and I want a Friend! Let's talk. We need to see the guidelines and remember because We Are Friends, everything that happens between us should bring us closer, if We stat Open and Share. I will tell you my guidelines but they really aren't all that because 10 I wort to be Open 2) I start in and from a place of Love 3) I will join in and let you be You and I will be Me.

I want to walk with you, not take you in a different direction and if we have to go different ways, know that we will join again and I will always be there. When I see You, I see Me!

Let us Trust Spirit and put all Trust into Spirit, it only goes to and from Good and each time it gets better and Greater.

WOW, Love determines who We Are, that Energy from which we all come from is our Source and Supply....LOVE! I know this and I HAVE TO LIVE IT!....Forgive - accept and release!!!!

This, I will continue to work on, but I heard today (6/20/10), I just need to say;
"There is No One here to experience this....so, it must leave, it's has no thing to hold on to. I must experience Freedom and We all must experience that Freedom because We Are....